192 Hours until 21 in 2008 4 real

For me this is such a great time..........................i love to write songs>>>>>>>> and to me i need to since i am a singer/songwriter/so many other's thing's i already mentioned about........to me i have a some sadness yet i am tryin to believe and i need to read posivity instead of negative and to me life is about getting where you want to be,going where you want to go and just livin life as much as you can,but i real want just to be in her life and even when i turn 21 i still will want that and even after that and God only knows how much i have endured and been sad all this time and i wonder why He's allowed stuff to happen that causes me to worry and why don't it seem like there's no intervention at all and where is the hope and the peace i seeked Him for and why do i feel so numb so many time's i lose track.......i was watching Bruce Almighty last night just thinkin what a bad example to portray on how to treat God yet i began to realize the film was more fake then real and that the forgiveness i believe yet the way they portrayed God on vacation didn't seem realistic to me i mean does God really go on vacation and let somebody else rule over other's humm well back in the book of Job i read God let the fallen angel control somebody which i never real got but i do now and was the movie tryin portray the enemy i have no clue but what i also don't get is how the enemy could be an employee i am not tryin to uplift the enemy so don't get my story fucked up as i am evil or something when i am not.I only uplift God and i may those who i love and my friend's yet not the forces of evil never.


To me when i get 21 i am gonna write a blog about my day away from the computer and about going job searching again for i need one and i got a premenician if i did this one thing for God this would be mine it's as simple as that.Get a job,work,help my dad out around the house as much as i can before leaving,weightlifting and keep writing songs and within a couple year's i'd get to meet her and thing's would start going my favor.So i must obey the Lord as He commands and to get what i want i must obey Him as He asks when He asks so i must go job searching today and tomorrow and alway believe in the possible becoming reality for me and that girl i love so much more than my own existance for real.


I mean if God says something to you you better listen for He only says stuff to help you not hurt you and He knows exactly what you need and want and how to get it it's all in a weekly process and working for the Lord will get you what your heart desires