I Hate Myself and The Feeling's To Be Afraid or to give up

To me who do i hate the most it's me because i love this girl and i let these damn stupid thought's control me and people say i am a prisoner of the flesh but i killed my love for the flesh but i love brie and i don't care who loves or hates me and as of right now.

R.I.P. to the james shelton which was into women and influenced by men,but i now killed that me and i definitely am not gay people can't twist my stories and say because i don't love johanna or those who love me doesn't mean i am gay i only love brie and if she loves me then i love her anyway because well i do i am not gonna lvoe another woman as long as i live

and if another person hates me i'll forgive them but i won't care for them like i do for brie larson and if anybody around me or who knows me can just be mad,but i am not kidding i love brie and if i have to cut i'll off of me whatever get's in the way of being with her.

Guess What?The Sock Show series is here so check the videos out

Click each video to view them and please enjoy for it too much quite a while to get this stuff recorded,edited and on here:

Each video is short like 30 some seconds up to a minute yet later they will be way longer(enjoy and comment please and thank you)

Sock Show(First Episode)



Sock Show(Second Episode)



Sock Show(Third Episode)

I Miss Brie yet blogging all the time is boring not knocking anybody that does

i do blog alot and stuff i gotta admit i hate myself and my brain for it drives me insane.i will be so glad when 4th of July weekend is dead and over 4 real this week is terrible.It's so bad i feel like i am dying but i gotta get dressed and get something to eat and do my songwriting and think positive and i know i'll get to see brie someday even if other's want me not to.i am so tired of my brain.

i want to get a new brain and put my past in the ground and forget about it and the past friendships and just be me because as of right now i worry and i am so glad that brie is single because that is the only girl for me the rest can find somebody else meaning any other girl and i am not into dating lest brie wants to date then i'll date her i won't date another girl and i am thankful for all good that happen's

peace out hugs for brie :) peace out and brie needs to get her some rest.

i am so concerned about her she seems so tired.i am gonna go but have no fear brie because in 2 years i will be able to transfer from Virginia to California and i won't be back in Virginia for a few years or decades so i won't be back home with my parent's.i am a soon-to-be-actor and i hope brie knows that i love her.

Dreams

Last night i had a dream about brie larson.She means so much to me and i love that girl more than life,my parent's,my friend's and everything else and more than anybody else loves her.my dad is evil he wants to be evil and mess with me and put stuff in my head to blindside me like the little evil he is.i got to admit my father i really don't like so that is why i am changing my full name and losing shelton because i am nothing about country life or the country scene.i ain't country nor do i like country and people may want me to be,but i have changed and nothing in this world do i care about but brie larson,my dreams,goals and hopes,doing my stuff daily and not neglecting it and getting stronger and overcoming my father.


well as of today i am gonna overcome my dreams,fears,obstacles and worries as i can explain.to me i real do care about brie and let go of the past.


to me my dad is so obsolete to what i want to do and he doesn't even realize anything about me.i don't even like Virginia.i just live in it until i can move.


I love brie larson and even if my dreams seem as if i am not quite near her that will not stop me from going to see her someday and be better friend's.


I will always love her even after i leave this world behind that is a promise


I love NYC and California but no place,thing or any material possession matter's to me but brie larson nor does friend's matter to me nor any other person matter's to me as much as her and until we get to see each other i will not hang with other man or woman lest they only want to be friend's and if they try flirting with me i won't flirt back i'll just walk on and will smith is my role model and a few other's are as well but i don't do dating girl's nor women for i only love brie larson and if anybody else doesn't like that then they ain't my friend nor do i know them or have i ever knew them they just are folks not friend's,but brie larson is my true friend i love her.


i like cartoons,i like comedy,i even am funny i laugh alot just like brie but i am not mean i am working on being nicer,but i just don't wanna do anything today even if other's want to and none of my friend's get me especially johanna she think's that i am crazy but whatever she can think whatever about me brie larson is the girl i love not johanna nor any other woman i love but brie larson



they can love me or they can hate me,but i only care about,love and miss brie larson and God yet my dreams matter too but not as much as God and brie that is the truth


Just ask my mom and she'd say i love brie larson without walls meaning i never hide my feeling's from her not even if i could or wanted to and as of today i am gonna weightlift and work on a brand new set of songs and record,record and write more songs until i feel accomplished enough and the sound fits the album and try to get a back-up band and if anybody knows a back-up band that is looking please get back 2 me


i don't listen disney as much as i like nickelodeon,but no channel nor any other channel,network or show matter's to me as much as her,they can come and they can go,but i will forever love brie and that means beyond life and into the next and even centuries after that and even after i am in heaven 1,000,000 and the truth is forever i can't say what forever is exactly because that is a very long time.



i love all the months of the year,but in astrology i only like air,earth sign(virgo) and fire sign(leo)

I Need You Brie More Than You'd Ever Realize

I am missing her and i am not letting anybody else on my mind but brie no more women or men are getting inside my head but brie i don't need anybody else but brie and i don't care if other women may be hot or sexy it doesn't matter to me anymore.i just wish she'd give me a chance i'd take my own life if i was guaranteed i'd have brie in it.I mean i don't want be destroyed for it so i can't do that but i'll do miserable until the day comes me and brie are as one.Anybody else can go on.The world is killing me slowly not by love for love don't kill or harm another,it is by those words and actions that they want rid of me and try to wash my name completely out and they all want me gone out of her life,but as they figured by now nothing will change me not even if anybody hit on me i'd tell them to stop or else i am a strong man and i can be dangerous but i'd never hurt brie for real never not even if i was threatened to i'd rather get hurt then lose brie i can't take it anymore it is like i am dying when i think of anybody else.i gtg finish weightlifting my God help my soul and direct me to think correctly and be with brie forever and ever and may every women go and find somebody else please in Jesus name.

BRIE IS IT FOR ME(THE ONLY GIRL THAT I'LL EVER NEED)

No more thinking of anyone but brie i am done with women and men too i love brie larson and if God were to wash mankind away for it's sins i am gonna praise Him for He does all that is right and good not just in His sight i consider it good also.I love brie so much i wish she knew that and believed i'd deny all of the women of the world just to have her for all of eternity.I would die for her and if dying is what it takes to get in her life forever then God can take me and send me into Heaven and leave me there and i'll wait patiently i wish i could go and be with her but that boy and other's get in the way.Please pray for me and brie's friendship and that no temptation will ever mess with me and her ever again not even women even though i am still a virgin,still tempted to give in,but never gonna until me and brie are married and i am so done with the likes of other's don't they get i am done with them all even all of the women i mean every women i don't are about women or anything not even men i only care about brie being safe,not messing up like the fools miley,ashley tisdale and the other hors of the world.i care about brie.brie is good she never did that and to be honest i don't care about women nor do i like men i only love brie and if women want me they can all forget about it and so can men i am straight and brie's forever and ever.That means no johanna,candice,molly o'connell,sasha or any other girl no body else no wendy no body else will do but brie.i don't care about the size of the body nor about what they look like underneath i only care about brie's health and safety i never loved another like her and i never will ever again it is it for me and God can show the rest of the world that i don't care what God has to do to get me in her and i don't care if it means millions dying i only care that brie lives and me and our families and our dreams come true and the temptations all are forgotten in Jesus name.

me vs old me

dead to the old ways but the old me haunts my memory

i buried my past but my past haunts me everyday

a match-up between me and my past self

who will win leave it up to chance?

me of course the new and improved caring me not the old me

that used to fret,be faithless and seek the flesh

i killed that version of me and i check daily to make sure

all is ok and everything is always ok.

I hate my brain the way i am affected by the rest of the world

i hate to be affected and i mean if i am affected by brie or GOD it's ok and my mom also but weirdos tryin to make me all sexual and crap i am not for i hate humanity,i love brie and the women who try to get inside my head and that includes men too i only want brie in my head the thought's of her i love that girl more than all of the human race does.

Dead to the world

Alot of people wonder who i am,call me crazy and other false names relating to me and want me away from me and here's the truth:


i will never quit loving brie whether i am loved,hated or disliked


i am like triple h and brie both combined

people can't tell me what to do i am not james no more

james was my old name and my new name and my new identity nobody will recognize but brie for she's my twin sister and even if johanna hates that she can grow up

people who don't like that i love brie can call someone who cares because me caring for hater's is a plain waste of my day and night inner peace

friend's are a diamond dozen,but evil will perish and will be soon forgotten

babylon,iran,iraq an syria best change and also the jews who don't believe in the LORD or they'll suffer GOD must be treated with respect,love and trusted forever and ever

peganism still exists in this world and until it's all forgotten GOD will not let up on the end of the world promise that is something i think and maybe GOD does

i hate tendacitis i hate my body it bring's me pain just like this world and the world want's something from me i can't give i can only give brie what she wants it's my life and i'll give it to her freely



people may or may not call me names for what i say but this is how i really feel about the world and i am dead to the world 4 life and 4 ever,but alive to GOD,brie and my family and friend's and my future on this world i am dead to the wants and needs of the many human race i have to deal with each and every day on a day to day basis.soon enough i will leave virginia,be with brie,me and her will be together and someday we'll never lose touch for i will never lose touch with her GOD i know will help and will protect my dreams,hopes and wishes forever and ever and shield them with His wings forever.

New songs i am working on currently

i have been quite busy with songwriting and weightlifting and poetry but soon enough i'll be working for an acting company and i'll leave virginia far behind me and never go back ever again until the day me and brie are as one and that day may not be too far from here and trust me when that day comes the world will proclaim it.

Dead to teenage me,alive to the adult me

All the matters to me is being with brie larson eventually whether anybody else likes it,accomplishing all my dreams,goals and hopes and pleasing GOD in all that i do and give HIM time each day and walk with JESUS CHRIST in every way i can humanly possible


"Someday,somewhere,somehow i know that i'll be with her whether the world says so or not,GOD says i can and i may be able to if i give up the world so i gave it all up and HE cleaned the world out of my mind and left her there and GOD will protect me even if you all wish me harm


Today was a total mistake,but as of now the old ways and habits are dead,gonna get a job,go back to college,start a band,trust nobody who i see or hear from lest it be GOD,brie or maybe my own mother but that is it

Get stronger on weightlifting,songwriting,singing,poetry and all of everything else that i do

I WILL ALWAYS LOVE BRIE EVEN AFTER I DIE

People think i am gonna quit hahahhaaaaaaaah yah right in their dreams
quit loving them yah but never quit loving brie
besides i hate the world it's filled with sinners and low-lifes who want to rob other's even me of what i want i may even have to resurrect the JRAY in me
that had the inverted picture to prove the old me is dead

including:

sexuality
mistake maker
image lover
and the love for all other women is dead

the new is alive yah and is not for women or men just brie,johanna,GOD,my friend's and parent's that is it.

The rest of the world GOD can do whatever those sinful low-lifes who create abominations in GOD's eyes which is so sad and i realize this now.

So from now on i am not adding people to my myspace i may no longer use it.i am gonna pursue my music career,it's gonna be a long road to get to be with brie and accomplish my dreams but one thing i will never do is stop loving brie maybe me i will stop loving or the rest of the world but never the girl who keeps me from killing myself

joshua king - james the old me is dead

i may create a newer me for your amusement the new me won't care about the world in the wrong and worldly way which is sinful and in the way to destruction

to be honest my nickname is jray abekcumes meaning:who is seeks GOD becomes like GOD yet is filled but not exactly like

and for brie to understand me i may need to prove how much i care

my name may still be james but the man james used to be is just an illusion of who i am now.the yearbooks from high school the myspace man who was stupid to not tell brie he loved her sooner i fell for the foolish words of my dad one of the worst sinner's in my opinion it's very sad but true.

my dad ruined my life and it's not lie.

Dead to sexuality and alive to brie and GOD

i wake up no longer seeking of the flesh but of the spirit i confess
Jesus is in my heart and so is brie
and whoever dislikes that don't have to talk to me
one day in the future people will see all i want can come to me
for the LORD is the LORD of me
and all i can do is succeed
and one dya the LORD will trample on thee
like flaming fire and all will see GOD is the true KING